Confessions of a Spiritual Retard

I seem to have been born missing the belief gene. I do not seem to have the capacity to believe in anything that does not present at least some evidence to my experience. And even if I do believe, I am conscious of the fact that it is merely a theory, an hypothesis, a possibility, but not a fact. Even the religion of science presents theories or beliefs, but these beliefs then seem to be accepted as fact. Take the Big Bang Theory for example. It is only a theory, but most scientists believe it and have closed their minds to any other possibility. Therefore, it is a fact...not!

When I was a teenager my youngest sister (age 2-3) believed in two imaginary friends, Goon and Charlie, who lived in the storm sewer. For the life of me I could never make contact with these friends, which I considered a personal failing. Eventually though she forgot about them as she grew up. I suppose Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny were the next imaginary characters to occupy her imagination. They too fell away in time.

It seems, however, that around the world supposed grown-ups believe in a variety of imaginary friends of the most preposterous kind. Many have an imaginary friend who tells them what to eat and what not to eat as well as what to wear, particularly on their heads. And this imaginary friend apparently gets very angry if his rules are violated. To hear them talk about it this imaginary friend is a very vindictive and arbitrary despot. Why would one want such a friend? This friend seems to pick which children to kill and where to inflict all sorts of disasters like floods and earthquakes. And it is quite clear that this friend doesn't like women so well in most cases. This friend's one redeeming grace seems to be its interest in sports. The competitor who has the greatest influence with this friend seems to win the sports contests.

And, once more, for the life of me, I can find no evidence whatsoever in my own experience that would even vaguely point to the existence of such an imaginary friend, just as I could find no evidence of Goon and Charlie. However, at least Goon and Charlie were much friendlier and more fun than this other imaginary friend.